So, my terrible friend, it’s 2008. Terrible, terrible, you little thing. I’m going to miss you, sweet, miss you terribly. Farewell.
Kiss me, you foolish fool, do it, uh oh, now, some day soon, I’ll find you one, one, maybe two. Find me, when the time comes and take me with you. Don’t you dare leave me.
Scream, scream till your voice is hoarse, long and loud, feel the vibrations in the air, the molecules bouncing against each other in frenzy, feel it, feel them, feel yourself, the vibrations in your rib cage, resonance.
It’s always a pronoun, it’s never a name, it’s rarely even a person, its always just him. Who is him? He takes on as many roles as he needs to. He’s one today and two tomorrow, three in a week, fifteen next year. I love him, though, I think, I’m always thinking, never sure.
He’s amazing, though, honestly, it was mesmeric. It was like watching some god, some mythic god, half naked, sitting on the pedestal, each muscle sculpted perfectly, tensing, relaxing beneath the skin. And his, and his hair, he has the most amazing hair. It’s perfect in that light, and it’s like nothing I’ve seen before, it’s vaporous, almost, curling up at the ends, like angels, like, it is amazing, beyond comprehension. And he’s just amazing, unforgettable, gorgeous, like some porcelain doll, some mythical god, etched in porcelain, fragile and perfect. Marry me, take me. Please.
The sizzle of flesh in fire, burling, curling like paper, turning black, scattering ashes to the wind, cremation of my soul, my poor self, my poor shell, holding a candle, the flame flickering beneath the veneer of who I am, burn, burn in the fire, ferocious fires of the end, crackle.
It sounds extraordinary. Like it should be.
Resolve, resolve, resolute, resolute, resolution: do I have any? Chalk on the board, glass on the floor, cream in the cupboard, paper in the wicker basket, heart on sleeves, pieces in the bowl, forks in bath, squeaky ducky lucky, a coin-operated boy with a pretty coin-operated voice, straight and to the point. Do love me, please, two seconds in the shower, three minutes in bed, forever and ever, in a loop, just play it back for me, beat for beat, note for note, vibration for vibration, every singly moment, play it back. I’ll listen to each second over and over again just to hear you, just to feel you, a little closer, a little nearer. Loosing my senses, like I had any to begin with, do love me. Love me like no tomorrow, right now. Tomorrow may never come, it probably won’t ever come, leave it to me now, leave me now. No, no, no, bad time, good time to die, good time to die a little on the inside, the caverns of my inner walls of my exterior castle, mighty fine thing you have there. Wings, wings, yes, yes, watch me, just watch me. You just watch me, for a second I thought you left. So, so, so, so, what the hell. Oiy, oiy, ooh, hear you moan, in my little circular mind, my my my my my, all underlined red. Scoped, sniped, shoot me from my badside, if you want a straight lie, this is a good time. I want a straight lie, please, not curved. That’d kill me. Flailing like a fish out of water, flap, flap, what else can I do, lying on my side, choking on oxygen I don’t need, choking on you, thoughts of your little things, and thoughts, and key strokes and pin drop notes and perks and quirks and quarks. Choking, for a second, I thought I’d die, but I guess not. Gash, scar, ouch, help, no, never.
That was loud. Love me. Just the same as you would any other day, a little or a lot, any less or anymore, love me just the same.