I want to get away from everyone I know. Just get away. Start over somewhere new. Like how we talked about, how back in high school, everything mattered less and everything mattered more. Just…what happened? I’m stressed out. Bummed out. Doing work I thought I would love doing and hating every second it. Getting an internship I thought I needed but somehow it all feels so wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Right after getting off the Q, I went to the Magic tournament thing. These guys invited us to over to their place, us being Chelsea, Vivian (I don’t think you know her) and I, and a bunch of other people from NYU (including Allen) and I was like, what the hell, sounds like fun. I didn’t get to play any actual games, these guys seem pretty chill, I’ll do this. Worst decision ever. Chelsea didn’t really want to go but Vivian seemed like she wanted to go and Vivian would only go if Chelsea said she would go. This sounds like a nightmarish logic problem. So, after thinking that I had convinced Chelsea to go, as we are going out the door, she changes her mind. I pull her aside, fucking ask her what the fuck is wrong with you, why are you flaking out? And she looks at me, with her fucking crooked face, and tells me to fuck off. This isn’t even the worse part. After she flips me off, she goes and cries. She has a break down in the bathroom and Vivian (her fucking lesbian tool of a friend) goes in and cries with her. I look like an abusive parent who just struck her child in public. Who the hell does that? Who the hell cries over some shit like this? Do you have the balls to curse someone out in public or not? This bothers me because I can’t stand her face and she – this fucking little bitch – has the need to curse me out when she was the one who fucking changes her mind last minute, for no fucking reason. She’s like, oh, don’t put this on me, Vivian should have decided. Who the fuck cares what Vivian should have decided? Do you not have a mind of your own? The way those two stick to each other I wouldn’t be surprised if they lick each other out every day and her fat fucking Korean boyfriend just sat in the corner and jacked off to their sad lesbian shit. And the worse part of it is I had to fucking apologize. So I’m wondering, do I like her at all? Do I just keep the front up because I’m passive aggressive and hate confrontations? Chelsea’s gotten so bitchy lately. She gives me the bitchiest shit sometimes. And when she loses in Magic, oh fuck, she turns into the spawn of Satan and any criticism you give her is the most incorrect thing you could have ever said. Does it bother me that she’s so hostile? Am I really this insecure? Should I still talk to her? I was hoping she’d hate me so I’d have opportunities to curse her out, fuck her up and not talk to her. She’s disgusting when she tries to be mean. Like, God, what is she? It gives me the creeps sometimes. Or maybe I’m just not in the right mood. And I don’t want to start the confrontation either. She has to start it. So I’ll play nice until some shit goes down. Play real nice.